How to Practice Self Care: Start Putting Yourself First
Have you been feeling tired, overwhelmed, or stressed lately? Have you been putting other people’s needs before your own?
Let’s talk about self care.
It’s one of those things we see talked about constantly on Pinterest, in wellness spaces, and all over social media. And yet, it still feels a little confusing, right? Or maybe even selfish.
Listen, I get it. I’ve spent more than half of my life putting everyone first except for me. Their needs, their comfort, their feelings, and their opinions.
If you can relate, then right now is the time to start making changes. I’m going to walk you through how to practice self care in a way that’s helpful, realistic, and actually fits your life. No more overwhelm. No more guilt. And no bubble baths required unless that’s your thing (it’s definitely my thing).
Table of Contents
What Does Self Care Actually Mean
When I first heard the term self care, I thought it meant getting your nails done, running a bath, or doing a face mask. That’s it. I was under the impression that self care meant getting beautiful on the outside. And for a long time, I didn’t realize it went much deeper than that.
Self care is about the actions you take to manage stress, find inner peace, and make you feel whole.
It’s about taking care of your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being. Not just how the outside of you looks. You have to cater to the parts underneath, too.
And guess what? It’s going to look different for everyone. What restores one person might drain another. Self care is personal. It’s about balance and adding genuine value to your life, not just checking a box.
I spent several years thinking that taking care of myself was selfish. Especially when it came to saying no to things. I couldn’t bear to disappoint anyone or let them down. As a recovering people-pleaser, saying no felt like the hardest thing in the world.
But one realization shifted things for me. I’m important too. I deserve to be cared for. And if I don’t do it, who will? I told myself that I was done sacrificing everything I wanted to make other people comfortable. I wasn’t keeping the peace. I was eroding myself.
Self care is survival, and it’s the most loving thing you can do for yourself and for the people around you.
Why Is Self Care Hard for People Pleasers
If you’re a people pleaser, self care feels hard because it requires you to prioritize yourself. To truly think about what you need before giving to others. And that goes against everything you’ve been accustomed to. So, saying no makes you feel like you’re letting someone down. Taking a break feels like laziness.
And what this boils down to is that spending time on yourself feels like it has to be earned.
Before self care became a real part of my life, I was always on the go. Always available. Doing things out of expectation and living a life that was not my own. There was never a moment to just stop.
And thinking about it now, this was in total conflict with my introverted personality. So you can imagine the impact it had on me.
I was exhausted. What else do you expect when you don’t take care of yourself? It leads to burnout and disconnection until you realize you’ve been moving through life on autopilot.
But here’s my message to you, the person who keeps putting themself last: Whatever you are putting out into this world, you deserve to receive it back. I wish someone had told me early on that I was the most important person in my own life and that it was on me to prioritize my needs.
Now that self care is an integral part of my life, I feel more like myself than I ever have. I know who I am. It kind of goes without saying that taking time to care for and love yourself has an impact on your life and well-being.
The Different Types of Self Care Most People Overlook
When you start thinking about self care for your own life, understand that the care spans multiple areas of your life. Think about all the parts of yourself that you interact with every day. They all deserve attention.
Here are the different types of self care to look into:
- Physical self care – Get enough sleep, movement, nourishing food, hydration, and rest.
- Mental self care – Focus on managing your thoughts, reducing mental clutter, and limiting overconsumption of content
- Emotional self care – Explore processing your feelings, setting boundaries, and expressing yourself
- Spiritual self care – Try connecting to something bigger than yourself, meditation, journaling, and stillness.
- Social self care – Nurture the relationships that fill you up and create distance in the ones that don’t.
If you don’t know which area to start with, think about which part of yourself has been the most neglected lately.
For me, my mental self care was the one I overlooked the most. I was overconsuming everything. News and social media. I now limit my digital time and I have turned off all notifications/alerts.
But the area that made the biggest difference in my life was emotional self care. I’ve always felt my feelings but didn’t process them. I didn’t know how to identify them or move through them. Now when something comes up, I pause and acknowledge the emotion. I take the time to pinpoint what caused it and I express it by writing it down or talking about it.
The goal isn’t to work all areas of self care at once. Focus on what you need. For instance, you might want to try something like self care during your period. It’s a great place to start getting intentional with your physical and emotional needs.
How to Build a Self Care Routine from Scratch
The biggest mistake I see beginners make when starting a self care routine is putting too many things in it. And I understand because I made the same mistake. But when you’re starting from scratch, it’s best to keep things simple. Trying to introduce twelve new self care habits in one day is a recipe for overwhelm, and you’re not likely to stick to it.
Choose three habits or activities that make you feel good and wholesome, and do those three things every day.
When I was focused on building my own routine, the first thing I looked at was the gap between where my life was currently and where I wanted it to be. I remember resting and doing absolutely nothing on certain days was the first thing I committed to.
And it worked because your girl loves to rest.
Here’s a simple way to start building your routine:
- Identify how you want to feel. Is it peaceful, energised, grounded, confident?
- Pick one activity per category. Choose the activity that speaks to you. One physical, one mental or emotional, or spiritual.
- Decide when it fits into your day. Does it work better for you in the morning, on your lunch break, or right before bed?
- Start small and stay consistent. Even 20 minutes counts.
For my fellow perfectionists and all-or-nothing thinkers, I want to remind you that any self care routine that makes you feel at peace is better than no routine at all. You don’t need the perfect setup. Consistency over perfection.
If you want to get more organized or prefer to write things down, my post on creating your own self care checklist is the place to start.
Simple Self Care Ideas to Start Practicing Today
The most effective self care ideas are the simplest ones, which means the ones that are already within your reach. You don’t need to book a full spa day or block off your entire Sunday to practice self care.
The first two self care activities I was already doing without even calling them that were reading and listening to music. I don’t know about you, but when I read, it’s like transporting myself to another world entirely. And when my music is on?! I’m in my own little bubble singing along and dancing. These are two things that have always been accessible and free to me. They always make me feel like myself again.
Here are some self care ideas across different areas to get you started:
- Read a book that completely absorbs you.
- Crochet or try a creative hobby (I used to crochet in high school, and it was super relaxing).
- Listen to a playlist that matches your mood.
- Take a slow walk with no phone.
- Journal for 10 minutes before bed.
- Try a self care bath with candles and your favourite music.
- Watch your comfort movie or show.
- Color in a coloring book (If you have a 5 Below store near you, they have unique ones).
- Make a warm drink and just sit with it
- Do a word search.
- Stretch or do a gentle yoga flow.
- Spend time in nature.
- Take a nap without guilt
- Call or text someone who genuinely lifts you up
- Sit outside and do absolutely nothing.
Picking one or two of these to start is enough. You don’t need to try all of them. The goal is to find what actually works for you.
How to Adjust Your Self Care for Every Season
We know that with each season, the energy shifts. Which means that your mood shifts. Your needs shift. So it makes complete sense that your self care would too.
My self care definitely changes with the seasons. In the summer, I feel more energized. I’m listening to more music, moving more, and feeling lighter. In the fall, I’m deep in my cozy mode. Warm drinks, slow mornings, and comfort food. My local coffee shop makes a delicious butter rum muffin every fall season and it is something I genuinely look forward to.
As you can see, each season calls for something different. Here’s how it might look:
- Spring – Refresh. Clear out, start fresh. The perfect time to revisit your self care routine and try something new.
- Summer – Energized. Lean into outdoor activities, movement, and connection.
- Fall – Cozy. Slow down, warm drinks, warm spaces, and cozy rituals.
- Winter – Stillness. Rest more. Reflect and go inward.
If you can lean into what the season is already asking of you, it can make self care feel effortless. For more seasonal ideas, a seasonal self care guide can help you plan ahead.
You Deserve to Take Care of Yourself
For those of you who didn’t know how to practice self care before reading this post, here’s what I want you to walk away with: You deserve to prioritize yourself.
Self care isn’t a luxury, and it’s not something you earn by doing enough for others first.
And it certainly doesn’t have to be complicated. Start small by picking one or two things that feel doable and build from there. Consistency is always better than perfection.
Grab a sheet of paper right now and start writing out your self care plans!
